- long time ago... a very long time ago...

long time ago... a very long time ago... tick-tick... tick-tick.. (our skit starts like that, we were doing the ice breaking session)

its a long time since i post something here.. "no time yaar"... the same old dialogues of lazy people.. not just lazy, should say, careless. i am not caring many things that i were taking care before. am i becoming less Dinu. don know.

now i am bored... all our rounds are over... waiting for the results.. my friends are busy with their events... a lot more time with me... so let me write about my life.

life... it never comes as i want. i think i happens with many more other than me.

i want more time and peace of mind to think... now a days i got real topics to think over. but my thoughts are not clear. one big problem is that, none surrounds me are interested in topics that i am interested in. and so, i can't find a approval bench, somebody who can say, my thoughts are distorted or not. the lost relationships starts consuming me.

the point that i reached (in my life, in my expedition ) is, can i believe this material world or my thoughts, the intangible. either one is true, and the other is false. then also its ok.. its possible. but the real problem arises when both are true. that treats my understanding the inferior. i have to search for more reasons and facts that could support one of the three possibilities
1. material world is true
2. intangible world is true
3. both true

one of the problem that i find with me is that, i don;t believe in myself. i feel its inferior or it is vulnerable to distorted thoughts. now the action plan is to make a stable mind. but my instincts doesn't allow me. i have to control my mind. its like taking interest in things that i never taken interest in. another thing is the instincts. i have to be more thoughtful careful and less reactive.

one common problem that i find with people (with me too) 'want answer for a problem in seconds.' as far as our brain capacity is this much low, we have to create basis for each concepts and then only we can proceed further. Thats why we took almost one forth of lifetime in education, else we could just skimmed over all the books in two or three months and finish our education. to form solid images of the concepts, it take time. all that i find as a solution is work over it. if we could think more about concepts, we can just catalyze its effects in our mind that helps in further discoveries.

thats all da... totally confused.. can't even believe my thoughts... the facts are more suspicious these days... am I alrite?? not sure..

let me think... hope he will give me the key.. the universal key..

one day... one day I will be back with the key.. the key for me and for everone...